Have you seen this turtle?

I saw this by the mail box the other day. There were about 5 of them pasted all over the place.

So I really feel sorry for Paul who lost his box turtle. But.... how in the world do you lose a freakin' turtle? Are they that hard to lose where you must post "Lost" signs?!

In my head, this is how I imagine how the turtle got lost....... (BTW, scenes I imagine in my head sometimes result in play-like scripts like the following. Pardon my theatre-ness.)

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(Scene: blank stage set with one open door and one couch.)

(Lights Up. One light on PAUL, who is standing at an open door, staring out into oblivion. Another light on WIFE, who is sitting at a couch behind him, eating a gallon of ice cream with a giant spoon.)

PAUL'S WIFE: Paul! Don't leave the front door open! Remember, Boxy-Box is an escape artist!

PAUL: Uh oh....

(PAUL looks out the door, around the blank stage "house". Out the door again. WIFE looks around. Looks at PAUL. Drops her gallon of ice cream and throws her giant spoon on the floor.)

WIFE: (getting louder and louder as she speaks) Damn it, Paul! You've done it again! He's gone! Gone! Last time he made it all the way to the Mexico border before we got the phone call from that truck driver!  You better get your ass out there and post signs all over the world before Boxy-Box has gotten clear across the state! I BETTER SEE A SIGN EVERY SQUARE MILE OF THIS WOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRLLLLLLLDDDDDDDD! (WIFE's yelling is reverberating and echoing)

(And then silence.)

PAUL: Yes, dear.

VOICE FROM THE UNKNOWN: (spoken loudly from an unseen place) And that's why there were five flyers posted at the mailbox.

(End scene.)

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(I know you love my playwrighting skills. I must say, that turned out so post-modern!)

So, either that happened or Boxy-Box the Turtle is amazingly talented with lots of secrets.

Perhaps he has secret blue wings that look like fish fins and flew away!

Or he's hiding a jet pack under his shell. Sneaky little bugger!

Or maybe he has retractable tires and zoomed outta there like a little NASCAR racer!!

But the most probable explanation for the turtle's unknown whereabouts is because of his ability to hypnotize others with the lasers that shoot from his eyes.

I hope Paul finds his turtle. 
If you see one walking around that looks lost, let me know ASAP. I'll call Paul.

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HAPPY FRIDAY! Hop hop hop!
And if you dare make fun of my illustration skills, I'll cry myself to sleep. 
I wasn't blessed with illustrating skills. My playwrighting skills, however, are GENIUS.