When I was a pretty young thing, I swore to myself I would be the coolest person ever as I aged. I was going to rock at being an adult and always feel young. I envisioned being a “cool mom” and always being stylish and fashionable. That all is debatable, now that I’m in my early thirties.
The reality is I’m totally a stereotypical 32-year-old.
Some days, I think back about the days of yore. I feel like the same person, but I guess I now have some added “quirks.” I taught high school for 8 years, and now I teach 6th graders. I also have 2 young children. I’m around young people all the time. I’d like to think it help keeps me young, but most of the time it makes me feel old. Even though I swore I would never age, it’s happening. I find myself disliking things I loved just ten years ago. (I say it like it’s not that long ago. OMG… that’s totally “old” of me.)
Things I Dislike in My 30s (That I Never Thought I Would):
LOW RISE JEANS. I can’t tell you how many pairs of low rise jeans I’ve owned in my young adulthood. I even still have some in my closet. Let me ask you this question – HAVE YOU PUT ON LOW RISE JEANS LATELY?! No ma’am. 22-year-old Meg circa 2005 is laughing at me. Well, you know what, 22-year-old Meg? You can take your Nokia 2610 and shove it.
SOUR CANDY. Sour Patch Kids and Warheads used to be my my lifeblood. It isn’t a movie at the theatre without Sour Patch Kids, right? Ew. No. Get that stuff away from me. If I am going to consume sugar, it better be in chocolate form. Even better, dark chocolate. (Crap, I am making myself sound even older.)
PARTYING ALL NIGHT LONG. I went to college. Enough said. Oftentimes, the evenings were just getting started at 11:00 P.M. Young Meg told herself she would always have fun. You know what is even better to do all night long now? SLEEP.
DONUTS. Basically I will have a complete carb/sugar crash if I eat a donut in the morning, so I avoid them at all costs. 22-year-old Meg is rolling her eyes at me right now. If she had an Instagram in 2004, she would be guilty of ‘gramming photos of her pink sprinkled donut atop her iced coffee.
CRASHING ON SOMEONE’S COUCH. Whether it’s from a late night out or traveling, crashing on someone’s couch isn’t a big deal when you’re 22. You wake up about 8 hours later and you’re as fresh as a daisy. Ha. Give me my king size bed, extra firm pillow, and the pillow that goes in between my knees. Bonus points if I have essential oils diffusing in the background.
PLUCKING MY EYEBROWS. Why in the world did I think it was a good idea to make my eyebrows as thin as possible? I don’t care what you say, 22-year-old Meg – you look ridiculous.
HAVING RESPONSIBILITIES. When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be an adult and do adult-like things. Have my own house, pay my own bills. HAHAHA. This is the biggest laugh of them all. You’re dumb, 22-year-old Meg. Enjoy mooching off of your parents while I pay my mortgage…. as I wait for the A/C maintenance man to show up… while two kids are fighting over hair elastics and “blessing” me with “holy water.” The budget excel spreadsheet needs to be updated, while I’m at it. Some days I want to throw in the towel and throw on this t-shirt.
This is so funny and oh so true! However this 34 year old self (GASP) still likes low rise jeans – I HATE ANYTHING near my belly button but the rest. Oh how I wish I could watch my 22 year old self from the outside and wonder what was going through my mind!
I don’t like jeans THAT high, lol! Just how I did even bend over with a zipper that was less than an inch long???
I loved reading this and I couldn’t not agree more — except with the sour candy thing, cause I still love those! But I absolutely hate sleeping over at someone else’s home unless I have a bed and bed room to myself, Iow rise jeans are not my friend and I really love being home at a reasonable hour and getting to bed!
I must be in the minority with the sour candy thing! Glad you enjoyed the post, friend!! Thanks for sharing it!!
Hahaha! Meg this was so funny. I’m around the same age as you just minus the kids. I can relate. Give me a nice (one) glass of red wine over those endless malibu + diet cokes I drank 10 years ago!
Thank you so much, Jayne!! YES… omg… no more malibu and diet coke. Hahaha that brought back memories.
So true about the low-rise! I like to think I’ve grown up enough to enjoy all the best things about being an adult without being stodgy.
I’d like to think so too! Until one of my 6th grade students says something that sounds like another language. LOL.
You’ve always been the cool kid, Meg, and you always will be. I will continue to rely on you and Katie to tell me what I should be reading or saying.
Haha! You are too sweet my friend!!
I couldn’t enjoy this post because there were way too many ads breaking up the flow of it. Is that really necessary when you come to someone’s blog? Could they maybe just be at the bottom? Makes it really tough to read on a phone.
To be honest, I don’t like it, either. I am going to take that mobile template off my blog because you are not the first person to say something about my mobile view. However, I am a big girl and can handle constructive criticism, so there’s no need to leave an anonymous comment (even though I can still see your IP address). Wish at least you left your email so you could get my response!
I legit LOL-ed at the pillow between your knees part – Aaron laughs at my old lady knee pillow. But dang, I NEED IT. 🙂
LOL I’m glad someone relates to the knee pillow! It’s CRUCIAL for sleeping success.
how could you not like donuts??! You cray cray girl! I love me some donuts!
I feel like every time I eat a donut, it’s an instant regret. I don’t know why! Maybe because I don’t like the sugar crash?
I love it! I think 30s are way better than the 20s. And if I’m not asleep by 11:00 I get mad at myself.
Haha! I totally agree… 30s are way better so far!
I’m with ya sister on this entire list but I’m most shocked about my EYEBROWS! I used to be very particular about em and nowadays with the little one I haven’t even attempted to look really close (in the sunlight!).
LOL eyebrows are crucial to me now. I just am so mad at myself for plucking them so much when I was younger!!
Yes yes yes girl!! I definitely wish I could go back to the simpler times when I didn’t have to work to pay bills and all that junk. Just want to eat whatever I want without gaining a pound and take a nap. Especially on the king bed, extra firm mattress!
#PREACH. Let’s go back to that magical place.
Cute Post! I am there on the party all night thing. I used to do it and be fine. now I can’t function if I don’t get the same amount of hours of sleep. argh.
Thank you!! Yes, I remember going to bed some nights at sunrise! I was crazy! Now my kids get up at that time! LOL
hahaha! Oh man. I’m not 30 yet but I already can agree on all of these things! I don’t even know how people eat donuts anymore. I feel like crap every time I do.
Hahaha right? It’s like an automatic regret for me.
I just turned 29 today, and I found myself agreeing to a lot of things you mentioned here! Hahaha!
Jae of SCATTERBRAIN
Hahaha, this is hilarious and true in every way!! (And I’m not even 30 yet!! ok ok…I’ll be there in the spring…but I already feel that way! Perfect post!
This is hilarious!!So many true things. I still love my donuts and sour candy
Yes to all of these! Lol. Turning 30 really does something to ya.
Agree with you on all of these EXCEPT the sour candy and donut mentions! HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH THEIR GOOD NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;P
Ha! This is hilarious! Isn’t it amazing how things can change?
24 year old me feels this way about bed now…hahah I actually always kinda did. That adulting shirt- is how I feel today.
Haha I’m glad you can relate!!
I’m single and living in an apartment so there’s just me. That’s probably why I enjoy adulting. 🙂